You can dream about your wedding for years, throw yourself into planning and then in a matter of hours, poof! it’s over. I felt so many emotions even months after our day and wished we could do it all over again—for the joy we felt getting married in front of our loved ones and all the fun we had that weekend, finding new wedding inspo that I wish I had seen before and also to redo the things that didn’t go according to plan. Here are six key takeaways from our wedding:
Stay organized from the start
We knew our wedding plan like the back of our hands from the very start. From the outset, we created a separate wedding email address, with divided subfolders for each vendor or element of the day. We created a beautiful budget excel file. And really, it was as delightful as a spreadsheet could be with colorful columns + rows and a pleasant font, because if you’re going to stare (or cry) at this file for months on end, it at least should be aesthetically enjoyable. We also created endless to-do lists for every granular element, along with the dates that they needed to be completed by and who needed to tackle them. It also helped to have the most amazing coordinator at our venue, but stay as organized as possible on your end too so nothing slips through the cracks!
Tasks are rarely one step
Speaking of that very granular to-do list, here’s another lesson we learned: just because a task might seem like one simple step, it rarely ever is. For example, “mail out Save the Dates” seems quick and easy, right? Well, here are all the steps this task might take:
- Solidify your guest list
- Gather all addresses of your guests
- Select the Save the Date design
- If your Save the Date will have a photo on it, select your image
- If you don’t have an image, have someone take your photo, whether that is a photographer, a friend, or a selfie. Another idea, we took a self-timed photo in our living room night and used that for our cards!
- Order your Save the Dates cards
- Format all addresses into an excel file. This will be especially useful when you’re addressing your invitations as well
- Use a company to print all addresses on the envelopes or hand address them yourself
- Buy stamps. Do you need international postage?
- Receive the Save the Date cards and address, assemble them (don’t forget to get an envelope sealer or glue stick, because you do not want to lick all of those envelopes!) and apply postage
- Place the Save the Dates in the mail
Suddenly, one simple thing adds up to eleven micro-tasks. This can be applied to so many different wedding elements, so keep this in mind while you consider your time management.
Guests won’t remember your table settings
I received this advice very early on in planning: guests will not remember every detail of how your day looked, but they will remember how the day made them feel. As much as we tried to create our -dreamy garden vibes- wedding of our hearts’ desire, we kept our guests in mind and remembered that are day was about them as well. It was important for us to create an atmosphere that lets everyone know how much they meant to us. One of the ways we did this was that we wrote personal notes to every single guest at their place setting that shared our favorite memories with them, how much we love them and how they have impacted our lives. It was a months long process to write all these cards, but it was worth it to have the chance to express our gratitude for our loved ones. It’s easy to get lost in having a Pinterest perfection, but remember that creating a warm, joyful vibe should come first.
Something will always go wrong, and that’s okay
Nearly every former bride I speak to, myself included, had a series of events that didn’t go according to plan. There are such high expectations for your wedding to be the “best day ever” and to have everything be a perfect dream, but that just isn’t always the case. For us, the shuttle buses were late, a family heirloom was lost, I took a tumble in my dress, the ceremony confetti wasn’t properly handed out (and now we have a lot of confetti streamers left over that we don’t know what to do with!) among a few other minor things. But you know what? We still had an absolute memorable, magical wedding weekend surrounded by everyone we love. When expectations are set so high, it’s easy to feel disheartened when things aren’t perfect. But what I learned is that it really, truly does not matter and it usually becomes a funny story to share or at least one to commiserate with.
Decide what’s most important
When you think about it, most weddings follow the same format, right? Ceremony, cocktail hour, dinner, followed by dancing. It’s up to you and your partner to then customize these elements to your tastes and budget. There is an extremely helpful checklist that details just about every element of a wedding in A Practical Wedding Planner by Meg Keene, which my husband and I used to figure out the wedding elements that mattered most (and this book is extremely helpful in general!). For us, it was our venue, catering, DJ and photographer. From there, we received pricing and were able to budget our other vendors around those that were most important. Once your budget is decided and your vendors are ranked, it’s easier to let the other elements fall into place.
Have fun and take risks
Everyone always says that your wedding day will go by in an instant, and it really does. It sweeps up over you, and before you know it, you’re waking up the next morning wanting to do it all over again. Weddings are big, joyful, sometimes-messy, wonderful parties. Of course, it’s also a sacred and special day as you combine your life with your partner’s, but honestly, we’re also here for the party. It’s so easy to want things to be perfect, on-trend and timeless, but my advice is to have fun and take risks with certain elements. From your lipstick and hair accessories to your bridesmaid dresses and decor, throw away any sort of “should do” attitude and choose elements that express your personality. While I loved our overall wedding vibes, there are still some things I wish I took more risks with. Have fun with it and don’t take it all too seriously!
Do you have any insights to share about your wedding planning experience? I would love to them!
