When Julie and Theo Goodman hosted their wedding at the Château de Courtomer in Normandy, France in September 2018, absolutely no detail was overlooked during the intimate three-day event with 90 guests—all planned to perfection with a 9-hour time difference from their San Francisco home.
On the last day of January in 2018, Theo proposed to Julie while on a hike during a weekend getaway to Big Sur. The newly-engaged couple then sprang into action as they targeted an early-Fall wedding in France, where Julie’s family resides. They quickly secured their venue and then enlisted the services of an attentive wedding planner—plus graciously accepted the assistance of local family—to bring their vision to life seven months later.
At the time of their engagement, the couple was just settling into their new home in California after moving from New York City to experience life on the West Coast. Theo and Julie eventually left California after their wedding to explore the world together for a year—documenting their adventures and creating city guides along their journey on thinkgloballylivelocally.com—and have recently returned from their travels to launch Half Lemons, an app for everyday cooking that allows you to discover recipes by simply entering in the ingredients that you already have at home. Pretty genius, right?
While travel might not be as accessible now and weddings abroad are largely on pause, there is now an abundance of time to plan every last detail of your international wedding. Julie and Theo share their wisdom and insights during our conversation about their dreamy wedding in France, which, full disclosure, I had the absolute pleasure of attending.
What were the first steps you took together to start the wedding planning process?
Theo: We knew we wanted to get married in the Fall, so after getting engaged at the end of January, it would either be a short or longer engagement. We chose the shorter timeframe, giving ourselves seven months to plan our wedding.
Julie: After deciding on the timing, the first step we took in wedding planning was to find our venue. We knew we wanted our wedding to be in France, and September, to me, is the best month to travel there. After we found our venue and locked in our date, we wanted to tell our guests immediately, so our Save the Date was basically our invitation, it really acted as both since it was such a short timeframe.
How did you begin the process for finding your wedding location in France while living in San Francisco and how did you eventually decide on your venue?
J: Our first priority was that we wanted the wedding to be a full weekend event where guests could stay on-site, so we narrowed down the options as we searched for a venue that had accommodations for our guests. In France, the typical venues of that kind are either château or mini-hotels, but we wanted our wedding to be a château. We started the search by simply using Google Maps to find the different châteaus around Normandy and then we further researched each one—some châteaus were not available for weddings, and some were able to host reception but wouldn’t allow guests to stay the night.
T: We then created a list of 10-15 options, contacted them for their availability in September, which then narrowed our list to 5 château that we were able to visit a few weeks later during a weekend road trip through Normandy. By the end, we knew which venue we wanted, and immediately signed the contract with Château de Courtomer.
As many couples might not be able to visit potential venues for the foreseeable future, what advice would you give to them for their online search?
J: First, I would suggest reading reviews, look at pictures and begin to narrow down the venues you would want to further pursue. From there, create a strategic list of questions to ask each potential venue and learn all that you can about the location, how they manage events and the general guest experience. Something to consider if you’re not staying a traditional hotel is to ask if all of the guest rooms were created equal in size and with their own bathrooms. We found that at some châteaus we visited had very inequal rooms. Thankfully, the rooms at Château de Courtomer were similar enough, so when it came to our guests paying for their accommodations, it was an easy process as we were able to simply divide up the room rates evenly.
Also, it’s easy to envision a “Plan A” with your wedding venue, but in case of a thunderstorm, is their Plan B going to make you equally happy? Ask your venue for plans and pictures of all of the different ways that couples have gotten married there.
I also imagine that more people are connecting with people who have gotten married at these venues in the past for their experiences during this time since they can’t visit themselves. I’m sure former couples have great advice, and many wouldn’t mind be contacted to further discuss!
J: Yes, it would be helpful to speak with former brides and grooms about their experiences and what they should know about a venue, and also see if they’re willing to share their photos.
How important was it to have a wedding planner, and what advice would you give for finding one to work with?
T: It was so important for us to have a wedding planner, and all the more as we were in San Francisco and didn’t have time to see the vendors as easily. We were really relying on someone else to be our eyes and ears. Thankfully, we had a lot of family in France to make the process easier as well, but I don’t think we could have pulled it off without a wedding planner.
J: Also, I think people work very differently in other countries. A wedding in America is very different—in some ways it seems like it might be a bit easier. In the US, vendors typically have websites that share information about their wedding packages and are readily accessible by email. However, this wasn’t what we experienced as we were planning. In France, and with many European countries, they don’t really have those wedding packages and many times you’re working with a small local vendor that might have a very different, and usually more relaxed, mentality. Because of that, it’s harder to do a lot of the work on your own. Our wedding planner did a lot of that heavy lifting for us, especially in terms of communicating with vendors.
T: I think it’s crucial to get a wedding planner for an international wedding, but I would also say it’s key to get a local planner. There are a lot of wedding planners in the US who will plan weddings abroad, but in general, they’re not going to have the same connections and understanding as someone familiar to that area.
Julie, you’re a native French speaker, so this question is for Theo. Theo, were you in communication with your wedding planner, as well? Were you able to overcome any language barriers or do you have any advice for people who might speak another language from their wedding vendors?
T: Aside from a couple of Zoom calls, communication with our planner all went through Julie after our initial meeting in France. We really weren’t able to communicate, so Julie was our intermediary. Even though I wasn’t the one speaking with our planner directly, every decision we made was mutual. Communicating through one person actually made it a bit easier, and even if we both spoke fluent French, I think it would still be best to streamline communication through one person.
J: One of the ways we divided up the planning was that we would always ask if a vendor spoke English. If they did, Theo would take the reins. Theo was able to manage the discussions with our DJ since he spoke English, as well as managing the venue contracts and our photographer.
That’s a great way to divide up planning tasks and still be involved and participatory in the wedding process without speaking the language. Once you had the basic elements confirmed, how did you find other vendors like your caterer, rentals, hair and makeup team, etc.?
J: Our other vendors were all suggested and arranged through our wedding planner. She first connected with our venue directly to figure out what they did and did not provide. Had we had less than 75 guests, which we were originally planning for, we could have had our wedding inside the château using their plates and cutlery, but when we saw the guest count was higher, we had to rent a tent and everything to come along with it, which our planner fully organized. It was a long weekend event, and she took care of all three days.
T: For every element and vendor, our planner would come to us with three suggestions based on our criteria—sharing all the details and pricing. We would then make our decision and she would manage booking them for us. It made it so much easier since a lot of our vendors didn’t have websites. Of course, if we didn’t like any of her suggestions, she would provide us with more options, but we always liked one of her initial three suggestions.
Was that separated by budget or just different options?
T: The vendors were usually in the same price range. We would always give her our budget and requirements and she would then research vendors that would fit those needs and then present them to us.
That’s an interesting approach. Is that something that she does with all of her clients or is that something you requested?
J: That’s something that I requested as I was scared to have analysis paralysis. What good would it be for me to look at 10 different DJs that I don’t know? For me, I asked for three that we would like and that had good reviews.
There are always more decisions that could be made with weddings, or there are always more alternatives, and you just have to make decisions at some point.
J: It really made it so much easier for us.
So now let’s get into the actual wedding. Your wedding was so beautiful and everything came together so perfectly. What were some décor elements that you incorporated into your wedding day?
T: Julie and I are both opiniated and design-oriented people, so we spent a lot of time discussing ideas and—mostly Julie—looking at Pinterest.
J: We told our planner that we wanted a bohemian vibe, and she came up with ideas like creating picnic areas on the lawn using blankets during our cocktail hour. We also wanted a lot of candles at the reception and chose wildflowers and eucalyptus to make the tent smell good.
T: We also had giant wine barrels during our cocktail hour to serve as tabletops for hors d’oeuvres and had a three-tiered shelf at our bar, that was similar to one that we had at our apartment.
J: But in terms of plates, that’s not where we spent too much time. We asked for simple white plates and tablecloths and we balanced it with the eucalyptus and candles. Every couple knows that you have to pick and choose your priorities in terms of budget and for us, décor was lower priority, as we felt that venue itself was so beautiful in itself.
Were there any obstacles bringing your vision to life while planning internationally?
T: When it comes to music, we had our heart set on a 6-piece band from Barbados [where Julie grew up] that we’ve seen throughout the years. We got in touch with the band and after going back and forth, it was clear that there was no way to make it happen. We were so certain that we wanted this band, but at the end of the day, there were too many logistics.
Aside from the actual magic of your wedding day, the entire weekend had so many moments of delight—from the garden party to the crepe maker, among so many other elements. Can you share more about these and how you built out the schedule for your wedding weekend?
T: Because it was an international wedding, we felt we had to have more than just the wedding day and really have a whole weekend planned. We wanted to have all our best friends and family there with us for a weekend free of distractions, so that meant we had to have an itinerary full of activities.
J: Our idea was that while our wedding day on Saturday was formal, we wanted everything else to feel more casual—allowing guests can sit where they want, leave when they want, and just enjoy being in Normandy. We also wanted to make the weekend feel very French and have as many French touches as possible. Hiring a crepe maker the morning before the wedding was a no-brainer to us. On Sunday after the wedding, we hosted a garden party that featured a local paella maker and lawn games. That idea came from one of the venue visits with my mother. We were staying in a nearby town and came across a paella maker at the market and thought that this was great a great idea as it could accommodate different dietary restrictions since it’s gluten-free and we also had a vegan and kosher option. The whole idea was to create a moment of good ambiance while still being lowkey.
You also had a masseuse come the morning of the wedding and extended their service to the guests at the château, which was so unexpected and truly amazing.
J: The massage idea was all Theo—he wanted a pre-wedding massage, so we hired a masseuse to come to the château. She said that she would charge her full day rate whether it was an hour or the whole day, so we offered our guests 20-minute sessions too before the wedding. When organizing the weekend, we tried to put ourselves in our guests’ shoes and thought about what we would want if we were guests, especially as they were all coming from so far away.
Even before your wedding weekend began, some guests arrived early to Paris before traveling to the venue in Normandy. We arrived on Wednesday evening and we all had so much fun essentially taking over a small bar and then on Thursday we met again for a picnic lunch by the Seine.
T: While the actual wedding weekend was planned, we tried not to plan too much on the days leading up to it while we were in Paris. We never booked out a venue in Paris, so our guests could spend the time how they wanted if they arrived early. We shared where we would be to make sure that our friends and family had a plan if they wanted, but it also gave them freedom to do what they preferred without any pressure.
What advice would you give someone looking to have an international wedding?
T: My advice is that it’s essential to hire a local planner, or at least have someone local to help. Otherwise, be prepared to spend a lot of your time traveling to your venue—of course this is different with much smaller weddings though. On that note, also try to use as many local vendors as possible and be open to their suggestions as they will have the best advice—especially when it comes to the local cuisine.
Also, everyone tells you to expect a percentage of your guests to decline the invitation with international weddings, so we had accounted for that, however nearly everyone accepted their invitations, which is a good problem but still we needed to readjust some of our plans so be prepared for this possibility.
J: Another thing to consider is that when you’re asking someone to fly internationally, I think it’s important to pick a location that is accessible and not too far from the airport. If your guests are already flying, they’re not going to want to then take a six-hour train.
With an international wedding, you also might not be able to do all of the things that you want, as certain elements might prove to be more stressful than they’re worth—especially if you don’t have local friends and family to help. We were lucky to have the help to take on those the little details with our family in France and with our planner, but I would really consider rethinking some details that may cause additional stress. For example, preparing welcome bags for your guests. This is usually done ahead of time, but even if they’re simple, it still could take a while to assemble. Fortunately for us, my aunt helped make them before our wedding and brought them to our venue. It’s important to remember that while everyone is happy to see a gift bag at a wedding, it’s not the highlight, so don’t stress on small things. You cannot compare your international wedding to one that is local because there are certain things that will be a much larger a headache to manage.
VENDORS
- Wedding planner: @homemadeforlove | https://www.homemadeforlove.fr/
- Photographer: @typhanie_piton_pro | https://typhaniepiton.com/en/
- Wedding dress: @wild_bride | https://www.wildbride.us/
